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Stress: What is it exactly?

Cathy MacDonald, Reiki Master/Thought Coach

The truth is that stress is unique and different for each person. There is no one thing that absolutely everyone, in every culture, will agree is stressful.

An elevator ride can give someone a 10 on their stress scale and another person gives it a 0. So are elevators inherently stressful? Obviously not.
Having to run 5 separate errands in 2 hours can totally stress out one person and another thinks it is just another typical day. No confirmed stress there.
Spending a week at the in-laws. Some find this prospect horrifying and others will look forward to it. Is it truly stressful?

It's our thoughts and feelings around these examples and countless others that make them stressful, or not. Everyday, all day, we are thinking thoughts that either bring on a sense of stress or not. The problem is that we never question these thoughts. We just acknowledge how we feel and go on feeling it. Our thoughts are what create emotions, not the other way around. Every single time an emotion arises, it is as a direct result of a thought we just had.

If you are feeling like your emotions are running your life, you are probably 100% right. If your life isn't going the way you would like, if you aren't experiencing the joy or peace in your day to day life you would like, check out your thoughts.

It is actually a fairly simple process to do. Try this with the next stressful thought you have:

Ask yourself - is it true?
Is this thought that I am thinking, absolutely true and do I know for sure, beyond any reasonable doubt that this thought is true?

Most often, you will find that you cannot say yes. So if your answer is no or even maybe, ask yourself if there is another possible perspective to see it from. Is there another way of looking at this that is just a little different and yet is equally valid and makes you feel even a slightly bit better? It doesn't have to be a 180 degree thought, but just different enough that you are feeling some relief.

Here is an example.

“I don't think my boss likes me. I can't seem to do anything to please her/him. I think he or she would get rid of me in a heart beat if they could.”

This thought makes it hard to put your heart into doing anything on the job, even getting up and going into work can be difficult. You are certain that nothing you do will win the favor or appreciation of your boss.

Try applying these equally valid thought to get just a little relief.

"I work hard and I know I do a good job. My boss is a really busy person who seems to also be under a lot of stress. Perhaps what I think is impatience or their indifference toward me is really just them being caught up in their own stuff. I don't know for sure that they don't like me. They haven't come out and told me that. Maybe I am reading more into this than there really is. After all, it's true that I really don't know what my boss is thinking. Perhaps none of their attitude has anything to do with me. I think I will just keep doing a good job and offer help where I can. I really do feel good about the work I do and that's the most important thing. When I don't focus on what I think my boss thinks of me, I am quite happy."

If you can do this each time you feel your stress and anxiety levels rise, you will begin to notice a dramatic shift occurring in how you feel. The more you practice this, the easier it comes and the quicker you will feel the relief and over time it just becomes second nature.

For more information or to book an appointment, please contact the clinic.